The confess

Hi I'm back from my 17 days break from cyber world.
So many people ask me why I'm missing from fb, and twitter while, the reason was untold.
Still, I felt really comfortable though. Without those burden it's less tiring yet in the mist found back what I really miss feeling. So ya.

To those who kept asking me bout what happen:
All I could say that I'm not in the place to tell ya'll. Firstly because I felt that it's a thing between us and not you. Secondly, I respect them and kept my promise. Thirdly, I don't wanna be like previously. Fourthly, I DO BELIEVE IN KARMA! By saying so, I assume I got mine and is willing to accept it.

By saying I changed is useless, you got to put in effort and find it yourself.
As I said to her that day, if I were the old me, I would be there with ya'll but I'm not.
I don't wanna live for anyone anymore. Throughout this relationship for so many years, I've been placing ya'll first before even myself. Therefore I'm so worn out. Think about it, what I've done.

Since November 2010 I'm no longer that always-smiling Debbie.
Yes, ya'll might think when I'm in trouble I'll call up but the fact is I didn't mention anything.
And what I planned through then till the very last one, I didn't even speak up.
Yes, that very night was insanely fuckup but if someone were to ask what happen, wouldn't things be different. Alright my wrong.

Next, the aftermath for that was horrible. I'm like some weird girl in-between.
I'm so not in. Nobody told me I'm in what fault yet, I got this.
Yes, ya'll said and wanted to let go but then, why still treat me in that manner.
Do I really deserve that? You know, I cried worst than my break-up.
Even in the public but I didn't even mention anything because I know we can solve this.

That night, I left early. I braving spoke to F how I felt (at least an insider). She told me she understood and know how I'm feeling. Thanks F. Then met C. Finally someone told me what wrong I'm in. I admitted. Yes. Following hour, I sat at home, and typed that text to ABCFG. Reply from them was hurtful enough. B said she know even if I'm not feeling well, I'll stay throughout with them. A just kept ranting her unhappiness towards me.

The one thing why I chose to keep away was, I was angry.
I know ya'll are but at least I kept my promise. I didn't mention to any other people that are not involve. I'm thinking why? They didn't know me, they don't know how I'm like but why judge me wrong for this. Why? That's the only reason I will admit I'm not in wrong and find it very disturbing.

Till now, I didn't contact anyone involve because that night none spoke up for me.
So even till now, I doubt someone will.

Ok I'm done with my confess and so treating everyone the same now even those I hate so much last time. I swear.

I still loveya'll.